It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize