All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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