So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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