Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
