thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
