Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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