Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
