I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
