He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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