she was so not down for the gang bang
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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