I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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