You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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