So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
