Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
