i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
