So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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