i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We just shotgunned beers for America
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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