Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
