is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
