New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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