Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize