maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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