Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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