his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
