I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
