Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
