There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
