haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
