I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
