dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
nutella sex= disaster
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
