somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
