are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
