Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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