Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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