im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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