why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
