and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
