I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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