i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
