You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
