I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
