we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Can I color on your dick again?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize