The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
