My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So much rum. So many feels.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
