There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
