A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
