Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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