Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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