its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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