Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
