yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
