a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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