my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
