margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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