I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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