i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
