After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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