Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
